Moron

Class A. That's what I am.

I feel really sick to my stomach right now, and I can't concentrate on anything.

It's because I'm a moron.

Really, it's because I have misplaced my expensive prescription glasses. I can't believe they're gone. I can't believe I would be so stupid to just LEAVE THEM IN THE BATHROOM AT WORK.

Why am I an idiot?

Here's what happened: I brought my contacts to work and put them in around 11:50, right before I left for my yoga class. I was in the bathroom, which is a one-holer. I unclipped a barrette from my hair and put that on the top of the toilet paper dispenser. I had my glasses tucked into the front of my shirt. I took the glasses and put them with the clip, reasoning that I would remember them since 1) they are IMPORTANT and EXPENSIVE, and 2) they were with my clip. Two things to remember! That will make it easier!

Off I went to my yoga class. Relax, breathe, relax, la la la... 1:15 I come back. I'm hungry and ready for lunch. My hair is in my face, and I remember that I'd had it clipped back earlier. I search my desk for my barrette... then remember. I rush to the bathroom, where I find the goddamn $2 clip still sitting on the top of the toilet paper dispenser. And no glasses. No glasses, which cost approximately 15 times the cheap barrette. Prescription glasses, which I need for, you know, vision. Brand-name frames, which I bought for myself in April as a special treat, since I hadn't bought new glasses in four years.

I'm the only staff member on my floor today, but there are two ESL classes happening right outside the bathroom. (Actually, one classroom is the next floor up, but the students still use this bathroom.) So in a state of utter panic, I hassled the teacher of the first class to see if anyone had found glasses. No one seemed to have found any. We went upstairs and asked the other class. Nope. At least, no one was saying so. It's possible they didn't understand exactly what I was asking.

The instructors of both classes were really nice and have said they'll keep an eye out. One of the students made an announcement in both classes. I sent an email to all of my co-workers. I checked at the front desk. I've done pretty much all I can do, save for calling the Lost and Found of the entire 30,000-person university. I will do that this afternoon, and again on Monday.

I haven't eaten lunch yet. I'm still too shaky and upset. I just want my damn glasses back, and I want to understand why I am so hopelessly absentminded.

So here's the thing I'm wondering: If someone found the glasses and thought "Oh, I should turn these in to lost and found," why wouldn't they grab the barrette too?

I'll admit I'm kind of assuming the worst. I am assuming that someone saw that the frames are Juicy Couture, a designer brand, and decided that they would take them and sell them. That's what I'm assuming. Joke's on them, though, since the goddamn lenses cost more than the frames, because I have TERRIBLE VISION. So maybe that person could just pop the lenses out and GIVE THEM BACK, so that I could replace the frames without too much hassle.

I want to cry. I know they're just a pair of glasses. In the grand scheme of things, they are trivial. And if someone was desperate enough to steal them, maybe that person is destitute and needs the money more than I do. Or maybe that person is just a goddamn asshole.

Ugh.